Heya! As world famous, you may have heard of my name, Bill Hanstock [1]. Sometimes people think that I am not a serious dude, however I hope this article proves differently. As a professional writer who has to be clever and funny at the same time, it really pays off to lie the way dogs lie in the sun.
Lying does many things for me, but the main thing is that it gets me laid. You see, I would not have a job without making up articles, so by making thousands of claims, I have enough money to slam ass whenever I want. Now come on now, we are all lazy. So basically, just lie lie lie and you will have enough money to slam slam slam vag all over town.
As a prime example look at my ultimate BS article on Rob Liefeld Rob Liefeld Rob Liefeld Rob Liefeld Rob Liefeld Rob Liefeld [2]. Once you see how hard I raped the balls off of Rob Liefeld, things should become clear. Demasculating a grown man by exploiting my power is the ultimate way to make it ahead in life. By making up a few things and pointing out a few flaws, it is now Progressive Boinks top article! Am I cool or what?
So bottom line? Rob Liefeld deserved what came to him, and I am now laughing my way to the bank while getting blown in the car. I am joking of course, but soon you will be thanking Bill Hanstock. See that? The secret does work!